Ruth Norman Mason

I can’t quite believe we are now living in a world without #DollyParton. What a loss. I’ve been reflecting on what I learned from Dolly and how grateful I am for those lessons, which last long beyond her 80 years.

The first thing that occurred to me was the power of Dolly to build connections. This week I’ve been touched by how many people have reached out to tell me they were holding me in mind as they processed the news. Love and connection go hand in hand. She was a builder, she showed us how to build connections with those you love, and find the good and possibility for connection with those you might not automatically think of as allies. She showed how sometimes you need to use your influence to create safe havens and opportunities for those more marginalised, while not alienating others. It was a rare and special gift – rooted in love, kindness and fairness.

Clearly she taught me that attitude is everything! That goes along with have a belief that tomorrow might be better than today, that sadness is part of life but that the way you think about things is key. A positive mindset can make a lot of grindstones feel more like rhinestones.  I think when I think about Dolly and how she lived that I also got the lesson that she embraced the contradictions, life doesn’t have to add up. People can be messy, and confusing – that makes them more interesting. We learn a lot by listening to the oddities and differences in people’s lived experience and our lives and stories are richer for them.

I can often find I believe the story about natural talent/genius means things come easy. She reminds me that even if I’m good at something I still need to work hard. Hard work doesn’t mean I’m not doing it right, it’s just part of the process.

The thing I’m still learning, that she embodied so honestly and truly is that the only person’s opinion on you that matters is your own. Let other people think/say what they want – it doesn’t matter if you know yourself well enough.

I think the last thing I want to reflect on is the human need to have an appeal to something/someone bigger, when life is hard. My bias roots that in the need for an attachment to a stronger other, for Dolly that was Jesus, for many of us it’s Dolly – hence the well worn path “What would Dolly do”. She was a guiding light, a star to sail by, an ethos and a set of values that will live on in all of us who loved her. Thank you Dolly, rest in power, we will look after each other.

“I’ve always been a dreamer, and dreams are special things, but dreams are of no value if they’re not equipped with wings”. (Try – Dolly Parton)